Friday, April 07, 2006

So, my wife and I are myspacing it now. And, we've re-met some people we've not seen in a while. I put a couple of my own songs on my page because I personally like them, along with a big list of stuff you like. So, while I did the profile, I was thinking: I'm sure there's a great temptation to project an image on something like myspace. I'm not just talking about high school students posing as adults, but everyone. When you make your list, you make sure that you have the right, cool books or bands or whatever so that people we know that you know what's up. And it's a double-edged sword. Because if you say that you don't know about or haven't heard of this or that author or band, then get ready to be told that you should know about it, and then subsequently prepare to be schooled and condescended to. Strap yourself in.

After all, don't you want people to have a certain opinion about you? I think I do, but I also know I am totally clueless about what people really think of me. This is not a good thing when you are in the ministry. And while I think I have a clue about other aspects of interpersonal communication, I am bereft of any knowledge about what opinion anyone else has of me. It's been true about me forever. You tend to hear people saying that they do not care what anyone else thinks of them. Usually this means that they want to behave badly, and do care what people think. They are just manipulating people to have the opinion of them that they want. Some people love to be a constant source of potstirring. Some people love to get you upset. So, they actually do care what you think because they want you to think badly of them. You can get a lot of attention that way. It tends to be a very twisted, symbiotic relationship, with co-dependence on independence and narrowmindedness, respectively.

Other times, people just want to do something because they like it. I used to have long hair (still would if I had any hair left), earrings, etc, back when this was slightly controversial. I dressed a certain way because I liked it, and again in keeping with my cluelessness, had no idea that people cared what I wore or what I looked like. It never would occur to me, because I don't care what people wear or how they look.

I think there are parts of Christianity that are very hard depending on your personality type. For people who crave rules, "loving God and loving people" becomes a set of rules. For people who eschew rules, there are no standards for loving God and loving people. We always see God through our eyes, and it takes a lifetime of living for Him to even start to get them focused right. We also spend much of our lives trying to refocus someone else's eyes so that they see us the way they want. Instead of projecting an image (or projecting our image onto God), might I suggest for myself and everyone else that we just take it the way it is. If we're not very loving, don't make God not loving. Instead, admit that you're not very loving and let God work on you. Maybe you could even admit that to other people so that they could help you figure it out.

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